Why I’m quitting my quest for balance

Balance. What is it anyways? I feel like I’ve spent the last seventeen years of motherhood trying to find it and I’ve finally decided to quit! It doesn’t exist! How could I possibly balance being a wife, a mom of 10, a full time job, a church calling (volunteer position), and all of the other responsibilities that come with being an adult, all with just 24 hours in a day?

I’ve tried every form of scheduling in my futile search. Different apps, paper calendars/day planners, combinations of the two, I’ve even tried to schedule out each hour of the day to plan my day with purpose, but they all failed! And each time a new approach failed-I felt like I failed!

There is no way to plan out your day or your week when you have children. You are surrounded by variables who are plotting your demise! 😉 You can make as many plans as you’d like, but there is no way to plan for colicky babies, ear infections, broken bones, flooded bathrooms, school events that nobody told you about, second trips to the grocery store because a teenage boy ate the bag of chips that was supposed to be for taco salad for dinner, or any of the other road blocks that often pop up for moms! I could plan and plan and plan, but every time a variable came up, I met it with frustration and annoyance. I’ve decided to quit my quest for balance and instead I’m going to adjust my focus. I’m going to prioritize my life into good, better, and best. I’m going to spend less time with spreadsheets and more time playing uno with my people. I am going to embrace the variables and remember that someday I will miss this chaos!

There is no day off in motherhood, no paycheck, no trophies, no promotions, and there is a LOT of monotony and tears, but it’s worth it! One dimpled little grin, one sleepy snuggle, one tiny hand holding yours and you have all the recognition that matters in the world. You are seen mama, by the ones who matter, you ARE seen!

I learned a lot in my quest for balance though! Good valuable things that help my house run more smoothly:

Menu planning is a MUST for us! I plan our meals for a week at a time. I do it Sunday night and then I quickly hop on my phone and order the groceries I need for the week from my walmart grocery app. Monday morning I run to Costco (I do most of our meat, dairy, and produce from Costco) and then grab our groceries from Walmart grocery pickup and we are set for the wk.

CHORES for kids is another must. I cannot keep up without their help, and lets be honest, they are the ones making most of the messes, so it’s only fair that they help clean them up! Also, there is NO shame in hiring help! I clean every day, my kids have chores every day, but I work a TON and I felt like I couldn’t keep up with the mom scrubbing that is required with a big family. I found an amazing woman who runs her own business and she comes every other Thursday and helps me out for a few hours. At first I felt guilty and I didn’t want to tell ANYONE that I had hired help, but now I look forward to her coming and not even for the reasons I expected! I have to leave with the kids for three hours so that she can work without us in her way, so every other week I plan a fun outing and I get to spend three hours with my kids making memories, instead of grumbling while scrubbing pee off the walls…lets be real though-I still grumble and scrub pee off the walls for 13 days between her visits! 😉

But I think the most important thing I learned is that the time is passing whether I FEEL the balance or not. I am still going to have a schedule, still going to make a plan, and still work hard towards our family goals, but the schedule is just that-a goal! One of my all time favorite quotes is from President Monson and it says “Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved.” I’m giving up my quest for balance and going on a quest for love. Crazy, loud, chaotic, messy love.